new blog. its official. so there.

best address ever too: hilaryy.blogdrive.com

people to lazy to copy paste the above click here

as the title said: this really sucks. my comp has a trojan- which one Im not sure but it does a lot of really annoying things, all in all preventing me from using my computer. Currently im on my parents computer by the way. if you want to contact me you can 1. call me 2. email me 3. get msn messenger 4.comment on my blog. notice that IM me on AIM is not on the list. my parents dont have aim on their computer. which stinks. but here comes the really really sucky part. the trojan disabled my text editor. meaning i cant write my story. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!! so ya. that pretty much sums up the situation write now. i will try to get to the library to use their computer soon so i can im people and continue my story. Yep i think thats it. just letting you know why it hasnt been updated. oh yea- i have pretty much decided that im getting a new blog for high school. what server i do not know, but it will come. and it will look cool. because thats what i do. i make blogs look cool. go me. *has noooo life*

Im back from christinas after my parents uncermoniously DITCHed me. So now I can update as me and not as christina. yep. go me. can you believe we have less than a month before high school? its seems so close yet so far away at the same time. I cant wait for it to start because its something new and exciting, but at the same time i know soon i will be wishing it was summer vacation again. But for now i will be all happy about going back to school shopping and getting a new (non-broken) backpack and other fun things like that, that you can only really enjoy right before school starts. the whole smell of new pencils and the thrill of organizing backpacks and binders that are going to completely get wrecked within the first term. its here. and its fun. i call it 'the newness factor' its new... its special... you want everything to be new... you get excited over new things... etc. etc.

Yesterday I picked up my clarinet for the first time in.... a long time. As you can imagine I seriously sucked for the first little while but after a bit I finally started to remember things... like how to play a 2 octave B flat major scale. >< The reason i finally took out my clarinet was a section rehearsal for marching band. There are like 10 people in the entire clarinet section (O.O) and 3 freshman. Three. Thats means like 30 people either quit band or went to private schools. So the other lucky two clarinets are Brendan (good but.....ugh) and Corinne (she sucked yesterday but then again i wasnt so hot either) The other people in the section were: Mike- section leader. pretty cool, and funny. then there is Alex Lucas's brother whose name i totally forget, Sophia (i think) who laughed so much it was almost caitlin-esque, meridith- really quiet, phillip- random guy i kinda knew from some play I dont remember, and alex collelo (stephs sister) who I know from tnt. After having a brief over review of marching yesterday I can proudly say- IM going to diiiiiiieeeee. I cant tell my left foot from my right foot and i have other random issues with coordination and basic brain skills. but at least when marching band camp starts next week ill be prepared for my suckiness.

Because I am just that special, I have decided to open a story blog! ooooooooh! Just like every other blogger/writer! *I feel unique!* despite that fact im slowly posting the story I have begun writing on my story blog. Review if you can I would like the input! Feel free also to tell me that I stink. My writing probably does!

Spam. Why? What is the purpose of posting your message a zillion and 3 times in every possible place you can think of posting it in hopes that at least one unwitting person decides to click on your link or buy your product. If anything, spam makes me want to buy the product less for a couple reasons. One, it annoys me. Why would i want to help someone that annoys me? Two, the fact that they have to resort to spamming to get their message around makes you think that they must not be too well off. And if they arent too well off, you start to wonder why....

 

Anyway my whole point of writing this really revolves around some comments that were posted on old entries of mine. Here are the actual comments:

Viagra online-

http://www.viagrasite.info
viagra online,buy viagra,order viagra

VIAGRA?! Do your research for gods sake and dont put an add meant for an old man on a high school girls site! God spam annoys me.

blah

forgiveness and truth. two of the most abstract concepts that our strange human minds have managed to concoct.can you really define either? i decided to look them up in the dictionary just to see what the "accepted" definition was. (both definitions are abbreviated)

truth: The quality of being in agreement with reality and facts
sincerity; honesty
an established verified fact

if only it was just a question of an established verefied fact. the truth is not that simple. If a color blind man said that two objects were the same color when it turns out they are different in our eyes does that mean he did not tell the truth? what if for some strange reason the mahority of the population turned color blind. would it then be considered the truth? say you are standing on one side of the desk and another person is standing on the other side of the desk. a third person places an object in the middle of the table and says to you What color is this object? Tell the truth. you see clearly that the object is white. the third person then repeats the question to the other person. they say that the object is black. the third person then says that you each lied. the object is both black and white depending on your point of view. were you lying when you said the object was white? probably not. but were you telling the truth? your point of view showed that the object was white. that was your view. our was it your opinion? the questioner said what color is the object, not what color was the object in your point of view. were you telling the truth?

it only goes to show that your truth may be another's lie. can the case be the same when recounting events?

Forgive: to give up resentment or the desire to punish; pardon.

First of all, I find that definition wrong. Example: A child goes and breaks a window. His parents forgive him of course because he is a just a kid afterall, but they still punish the kid by making him help pay for it to teach him a lesson. Does the fact that his parents punished him make them any less forgiving? Of course not. So forgiving cant just be lack of desire to punish.

And as for the second part. Say a stranger bumps into you at the store. They turn and say sorry and you nod your head, pardoning them and allowing them to continue shopping. But inside you are filled with resent and dislike and maybe even a wish to get back at this stranger. So just because you pardoned them you forgave them? The dislike and resent boiled up inside you mean nothing? I dont think theyve quite got it there either.

I think the fact of the matter is its not quite as simple as that. Forgiveness can be better defined by looking in at your feelings. Have you lost all the intense dislike that has been building up inside of you against the person? Have those feelings suddenly vanished? Forgiveness is not quite as easy as accepting someones apology. If you accept someones apology you are saying "I understand that you feel badly about what you did" Looking closely at that statement it means just that. I understand you feel badly. I understand. Forgiving someone is quite different. Forgiving is not only understanding that someone feels badly about what happened but saying that you no longer feel badly. Any feelings that had been holding back, any resentment or hard feelings have vanished. You are completely at ease. They have earned your trust back. And you know that the person you are forgiving feels this as well.

i can accept apologies quickly, but my forgiveness is well reserved.

So why does the human mind invent such abstract concepts as these? concepts that cannot be defined , nor explained. yet, despite all the difficulties that are entangled in these simple words they continue to exist in the english language. why? because although our brains cannot even begin to describe them, our heart fully understands them. when you tell the truth your brain can argue against the entire idea using my same arguements, but your heart knows when you speak the truth. and while your brain tries to determine the fine line between acceptence and forgiveness, inwards you know exactly when you have crossed it.

wellllll im back! (waits for cheering but then realizes there is none and moves on) awesome time in quebec city but i really dont feel like recaping it all because...im lazy... yep folks this just in- Hilaryy is being lazy.... again.... anyway had an awesome picnic today on the common with the sisterhood- radka un fortunatley because she was in slovakia (way cool) and i have officially realized that we might have a problem in our seemingly awesome sisterhood-y world. and its bugging me. so im writing about it.

Period 1: English 111, Ms. Perry, 1017

-Sara D.
-fantabulous

Period 2: Acc. Geometry 411, Mrs. Rivet, 3018

-Sara D.
-Fantabulous

Period 3: French II 321, Ms. N., 1066

-Sara D.

Period 4: Wellness 1 916, Ms. Palmer, Gym D

-Caitlin
-fantabulous

Period 5: Biology 521, Ms. Russel, 1081

-

Period 6: Symphonic Band 901, Mr. Walters, 1211

-

Period 7: World Civ. 211, Mr. Dulin, 2015

-

annnnd thats my schedule along with the people in my classes so far! please tell me if you are in any of them so i can add your name if i havent already.